8 Ways to Deal with "Breakup Blues"

Every end isn't the end. Some exits could be a fresh start to a delightful new inning!

Are you newly single? 

Breakups are way more painful and unpleasant than we think. Life drags us back into the flashback of cherished memories. Mind feels the hollowness due to emotional scars and wounds. Shattering emotions, devastating feelings, and daunting thoughts of significant loss become a part of life. Heart feels the heaviness of grief, trauma, and mental agony. The feelings of getting cheated, betrayed, and deceived hover in the mind. Sobbing does help to feel relieved from pain, but sulking over a past relationship does affect mental and emotional wellbeing. So, I would like you to learn a few measures to move past the “breakup blues” in the 8 most effective ways.  

1. Understand Yourself

Make room for empathy, love, and compassion in your heart for yourself. Declutter the grudges, hatred, and regrets of the past relationship. Share your feelings with near and dear ones. Write your sorrowful memories, irrational fears, and insecurities in a journal. Discard the rubbish trash of meaningless revenging thoughts and thoughtless actions post-breakup. Don't judge yourself or the situation while surpassing the pain of broken dreams. Reach out to a therapist to be aware of your emotions and learn their regulation. Balancing emotional and mental wellbeing can boost your morale significantly to move on from a breakup.  

2. Know Yourself

Knowing yourself is crucial to getting mental clarity of what you want v/s what you need in the relationship. Get to know yourself through journey of self-discovery and self-reflection with the help of introspection and contemplation. Mental energy is usually scattered and highly volatile during the healing phase. So, learn to navigate your mental energy in the right direction. Examine your emotions and feelings to understand your untoward behavioural patterns and traits. Take time to ponder over the following set of questions to analyze the situation neutrally. 

• Are you feeling agitated? 

• Are you getting angry or irritated quickly? 

• Are you over-clingy emotionally?

• Are you over-controlling in the relationship?

• Did you have an equal say in the decision-making?

• Did you put in enough effort? 

3. Attitude Matters

Rewire your brain to change your perspective. Consciously and mindfully analyzing your mental makeup will highlight your inner flaws. Being practical and pragmatic about your choices and decisions will save you from a worthless emotional investment in the wrong person. Every bitter experience is an opportunity to shed the old skin and start afresh with valuable takeaways. Thus, cultivate unshakable willpower and unstoppable resilience to rejuvenate your life.

4. Freezing Period

Detox your life by taking space to heal emotional wounds. Allow yourself ample time to get adjusted to a new life. A "freezing period" is a period of not committing to any new bond hastily due to mental or emotional vulnerability. Take ample time to move past the damage caused by relationship failure before entering into the next committed relationship.  

5. Baby Steps

Adapting to changes and settling into a new situation can be overwhelming, exhausting, and confusing. You may feel a lack of energy, vitality, drive, motivation, and enthusiasm due to breakup blues. So, take it easy with one step at a time. Keep practical expectations during the messy phase by keeping aside perfectionism for a while.  

6. Shortcomings Analysis

Ponder over a few points to find solutions and things stagnating your overall progress and growth.

Have a look at these points,

• Cautious move in the next accord...

• Changes to make within...

• Mistakes to not repeat...

• Red flags in the past bond...

• Impulsive or hasty decisions and choices...

• Impractical expectations...  

7. Magic of 6R

6R stands for - Reframe, Revisit, Replan, Revive, Refurbish, Review.

Reframe your life by revisiting priorities, replanning the routine, and reviving goals with life's significant shifts. Refurbish old habits for a complete makeover of your life. Pick up your phone and review the call log to find the least contacted folks. It is time to bring them all into the limelight because you never know how the universe is trying to help you through someone.  

8. Reboot and Restore Life

It is obvious to feel broken after the nightmare of parting ways in the rosy world. You may get self-doubts of your inner voice, gut feelings, and intuitions. Practicing unconditional self-acceptance may help to ease the pain and regain self-trust. Restore self-efficacy instead of seeking approval and validation from others to feel worthy and enough. Don't be your worst critic by self-blaming, self-loathing, and self-sabotaging. Instead, opt for constructive criticism or feedback to understand what went wrong in the bond. Be mindful of the words you are using during self-talk. Reboot your faith and trust in the higher power with positive affirmations and prayers. 

You may feel hopeless and helpless when life goes upside down. 

Some may even think it is the end of life. (Stop being filmy!)  

Remember, "Where the road ends, take the diversion, as simple as that!"