A Relationship Crisis!!!

Are you going through a rough patch in your relationship?

Don't worry! You are not alone. 

We all go through this phase at some point in our lives. We all stumble upon a rough patch in a relationship.

Highs and lows are an unavoidable part of relationships despite the amazing chemistry we share with our partners. 

There are a few things to consider that can help you to sail through hard times. 

1. Self-Work 

If you think you need self-assessment of your behaviour and thinking then take a moment to pat your back! 

Awareness about shortcomings is the first step toward self-improvement. 

Where do I need to improve?

Where does my partner need to improve?

What is sucking the calmness of a bond?

Do we both need to discard any habits?

Is the issue workable or a bit complicated to deal with? 

What actions should I take to redress the issues?

These questions are the starter to untangle tangled things. 

"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending." - CS Lewis

2. Hold your Horses 

Impulsive behaviour is a terrible trait. Thinking and taking actions patiently is the secret key here. Time may either help to resolve the issue or deteriorate the issue. Therefore, you need to accompany the time with suitable actions. Expecting everything will be fine one day without any desired measures is an impractical hope. Time + Actions = Resolution of an Issue. 

3. Resilience 

Sometimes a bond craves rejuvenation...

Sometimes a bond asks for some space...

Sometimes a bond needs its own time...

Having a relationship crisis doesn't mean the relationship is not strong. It just means a few things are screaming out for your kind attention. A relationship crisis is like another opportunity to bounce back with a fresh attitude toward how you look at the bond. Grab that opportunity to start afresh!

4. Communication Gaps 

Fill the communication gaps instead of not talking to each other at all. Confrontation is the only pragmatic way that will help to not misunderstand the other person due to wrong assumptions in the mind. Open up, share, and look for the best possible solutions.

5. Verbal Fights 

It is obvious to have frequent verbal fights due to agitation and haunting insecurity of losing a significant bond during challenging times. Most of the time, verbal fights are initiated to boost the ego and inner notional thought of winning in the competition of false ego satisfaction. What if you change the habit of having verbal fights to having verbal fights with an expiry date of one day? The latter is better here.

6. React v/s Respond

When everything seems smooth in the bond you usually respond in the conversation but when things get bitter you start reacting in the conversation. I have observed this among many couples who are going through conflicting times. Choose to respond instead of reacting abruptly which will hurt your partner's feelings and emotions. When you react, you are sympathetic, but when you respond, you are empathetic; only empathy helps to understand the situation better.

7. Spiritual Practices

Spiritual practices have the blessings of the universe. These practices are magicked by divine power. 

Couple meditation, 

Couple mindfulness, 

Mantras chanting, 

Religious activities may turn out to be a surprising uplifter to spark the lost aura between you and your partner. 

8. Root Cause

"We cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them." -  Albert Einstein

What caused the issue?

How frequently the same issue is cropping up?

What may help to deal with the issue?

You can only get to the roots of the problem when you challenge yourself to ponder deeply by asking deep questions. 

9. Introspection

"Many answers to the questions are found not by going outside but by going inside." Thinking and perception are two things that decide how you look at a particular situation. 

"Change your perspective and you will discover a new story." 

Do I need to introspect on my thinking?

How can I change my perception?

Ask profound questions to deep dive into the inner core.

Many times, situations and circumstances are not the culprits of testing periods. The main masterminds are thinking and perception. Have these two in check!

10. I, You v/s We 

"You messed up." "I am not responsible." "You were wrong." "I was right."  Any intimate relationship conflict arises when two parties share attachments and invest emotions; time; energy in each other but at the soul level these parties are one. That is why teamwork works here. This is a very subtle point many couples miss out on. Try addressing the problem as a part of teamwork instead of playing the game of I, You. Remember, it shall be "We".

11. Reach Out

"Sharing is caring."

Reach out for help without hesitation to those trustworthy connections who will not take undue advantage of your vulnerable state. You can also opt for professional help if you think that is the best path to go for. 

12. The Past 

Digging out old topics during the conflict is the most common thing we all do when we get caught up in a relationship crisis kind of situation. That is the easiest thing to poke to if we are running out of any other topics to grab while justifying our say. Come to terms with the past old mistakes of the partner or incidents that caused significant fights between you both in the past. 

13. Ugly Enemy 

We all are blind to the inflated ego inside. This is the worst enemy of us all. This enemy is responsible for messing up the situation. Stay away from this ugly enemy as far as possible to protect the relationship from seeing a disappointing end if you truly care about your bond. 

14. Forgiveness

Forgiveness is another chance for revival provided the mistakes committed are not significant to shake the foundation of ethical and moral values. Forgiveness is not the weakness of your heart but it is just that you have a big heart to let go of things that do not deserve your focus.

15. Wise Move 

Situations and circumstances always warn to take a call on when to quit. When the situation is deteriorating even after taking all necessary steps to save the relationship, know that this is the point to say Goodbye. Everyone has an inner gut feeling of what can go right, what can be improved and sustained, and what will worsen. Accordingly, take a call that protects the sanity of your mental health. Sometimes Goodbye could be a significant loss but that is the choice to restore inner peace. 

"What appears to be the end, maybe a new beginning."

Sometimes the problem seems hyped when in reality it might be negligible and other times the problem may seem so small that you will overlook it but in reality, it will be the main thing that will create further unsolvable issues. Thus, recognizing when to take up the problems and issues in the "redressal zone" turns out to be a game changer and relationship saviour for many couples.

Tough times are often the best times for a relationship.  

After all, hard times teach us to value the bond and learn to blossom it with flaws!!!