Rediscover the Spark in Married Life

Melodious tunes of wedding bells...

Welcoming archway of new trails...

Sacred vows jingling around...

New beginnings feel profound...

Marriage is an angelic bond. It is like two mates coming together for eternity by sharing unconditional love, kissing warmth, pure compassion, true empathy, infinite dreams, allure homemaking, and intimate memories. The bond that is so intensely nucleus and a connection that holds within oceanic depth. The whole journey experiences the phases of a dating period with butterflies in your stomach, a flattering proposal accompanied by a dazzling diamond ring, an engrossing conviction of being a couple, an enchanting honeymoon of being on cloud 9, birth to parenthood with a new-born, cherished company of many years with old age innings. This solemn cord experiences the twists and turns of every new life that is born with a new destination.

But sometimes, the destination encounters the feeling of lost charm, haunting emptiness, and hollowness in attraction.

The spark goes missing!  

Let's understand what goes wrong and how to bring back the lost spark on the track once again by starting afresh!  

1. Adventure

How about fabricating adventurous companionship with thrilling experiences that will make the moments memorable? Here is a little twist with seeking adventures in unpredictable things, in unexplored places. Keeping the surprise element alive helps a lot to keep the spark lively in the connection. Take the roads that are less traveled to find tranquility in the union! 

2. Humor

Those amusing fun moments, the waves of laughter shared on silly things, and the insane joy of cracking tasteless jokes that uplift the blah mood instantly are subdivisions of a sense of humor that keep the freshness intact in the accord. Ordinary things often give extraordinary results because simple things matter the most. Keep this humor quotient alive!

3. Explore

Explore life from your partner's angle along with your own life experiences. When you learn to think from a partner's perspective, it becomes easier to empathize by stepping into your partner's shoes. Explore the unexplored to cut off boredom and predictability of daily routine. Learn something new together and grow with enriching life experiences. In married life, you often switch your roles between a teacher and a student. Your partner teaches you something and you learn. Sometimes it is vice-versa. Every person holds within a vastness. One life will not be enough to deep dive into that vastness. Curiosity to know your partner better and eagerness to understand your partner's soul will be an enshrined spiritual exploration.  

4. Reciprocate

Do you both equally reciprocate each other's sayings, feelings, and emotions? Spark is all about equal give-and-take in the bond where you both will feel at par and on the same page of the wedlock story. Reciprocation is the act of showing mutual respect toward a partner's sayings, feelings, and emotions. Have this nub in place! 

5. Ask

What do you expect from me? 

What do I expect from you? 

These are two thought-provoking questions to ask your spouse and to have a conversation for knowing what needs to be there in the bond. This is a confrontation of how well you can blossom the bond. It is always better to be clear and specific about what you both expect from each other. Try to find precision in the vagueness of expectations. Funnel down the expectations from what you both want to what you both need. This helps big time!

6. Communication

Free flow of communication is the heart and soul of any relationship. Confession of your flaws and weaknesses will help to let each other seek room to improve. Words of appreciation, affection, and compassion are the booster doses of igniting the passion between you both. I am not surprised to see that most of the couples having a spark alive after so many years of marriage have this one thing in common - Communication. 

7. Equality

Marriage is all about duties, responsibilities, sacrifices, and compromises. This role has to be played by both sides. Here comes the role of equality in sharing duties, responsibilities, sacrifices, and compromises equally to balance the burden. After all, a union is the journey of two souls wandering in the quest for equal efforts, sharing, and contribution.

8. Self-Knowing

Being dependent on your partner for approval or validation for everything in your life is kind of a toxic dependency. Know yourself thoroughly to understand your better half. A person having an "identity crisis" suffers from over-dependency on their significant other for taking decisions and making choices. This hampers the freedom capacity of a person. Working on self-discovery is the first step to go for before getting to know your partner. Once you know yourself and accept yourself, then only you can relate with your spouse. Thus, self-assessment of how you are, what kind of life you wish to create, and what kind of family you wish to design with your spouse and kids are the areas to figure out at your end first. 

9. Empowerment 

"Give empowering wings than cutting flying wings." Reset the goals, dreams, wishes, and desires. Cooperation and support are two things to blossom into the future together. Empowering progress and growth are elements of the success of any relationship. Empower each other's wings and fly high!

10. Change

These types of changes may fetch ravishing married life - change of place, change of mindset, change of outlook, and change of routine habits. Try to change internally as well as externally to re-engineer the sacramental relationship. 

11. Attraction

Intimacy is a key aspect of married life. Over and above this, there is one more facet I discovered lately that helps to keep the spark shining. Preserve space and privacy of your own life. This way your partner feels curious about you and your life. Curiosity is the strand that keeps the attraction charismatic between the couple. This works wonderfully!

12. Creativity

This is another way to keep the bond tantalizing. Recently, I asked one couple who was on the verge of separation to engage themselves in some creative chores. They chose some DIY activities to do together. After a few days, I got an email from them saying, "We both enjoyed doing creative stuff together because we learned to consider each other's ideas, views, and opinions. This taught us to give an ear to the partner's sayings. We both could rediscover the lost nearness we had earlier and we fell in love once again!"

Isn't this electrifying to hear and experience? 

13. Contentment

What activities do help you both to be content?

It is very crucial to keep your definition of contentment updated as the relationship progresses. The thinking, perception, outlook, understanding, and mindset of a person change due to new exposures and experiences. These all also impact the set of beliefs, values, principles, choices, decisions, likes, and dislikes. Hence, talking with the partner to ponder over the newest version of contentment is of utmost importance. Bewitch the bond by considering a suitable definition of contentment that works in tandem with your current status of the bond. 

14. Takeaway

I know one adorable couple from my acquaintance who has been married for over 50 years. One day, I decided to ask them how graceful they have been in their remarkable nexus so far and share equal affinity toward each other regardless of cranky muscles, highlighting grey hairs, and texturing wrinkles.

They said, "You know what, Tejal? These days most couples are committed to each other. We chose to be devoted all along. That made the whole difference, you see!" 

My heart, mind, and soul were filled with awe!

Embark on the journey of rediscovering the spark. Oftentimes, you rediscover the spark by orbiting at the least expected places and in the least expected things. 

Get going to orchestrate the spark all over again!!!