Things I Have Stopped Doing for Making My Life Better

As we age in life, our thinking, mindset, and personality change. Life experiences teach us many lessons that impact our lives at a very core level. Our choices and decisions become more mindful, thoughtful, and conscious due to the awareness of life. There are a few things that I stopped doing in my 30s. In the beginning, choosing mindful options and making wise decisions weren't cakewalks for me. Because something to incorporate into life the brain demands inculcating new habits, adapting to the shifts, and being receptive towards transformations. Flexibility takes a front stage over rigidity. Our brain is good at giving convincing excuses to flop the plans at the very first step. Here is the catch, the brain is the source of motivation as well as demotivation. It is up to us which source we choose to tap into. The brain loves a comfort zone and when we poke the brain to step out of this familiar zone then the brain switches to the survival zone of "Fight-Flight-or-Freeze Response" by feeling threatened. Resilience, consistency, and persistence are all those skills that pass through a testing time. But if we can sustain through resistance and mental blocks then the "sky is the limit". I am sure, there are many takeaways in this curation if you can notice!  

1. Worrying about FOMO - Our attention is more towards The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) nowadays. It is due to changed trends and lifestyles. We fail to realize that this could be the reason to make our lives more stressful by overcommitting to promises that we may not be able to keep up with. Instead, I chose JOMO this year - "The Joy of Missing Out". Being in my own company helps me embrace "Me Time" of mindfulness and solitude. 

2. Mindless Expenses - Credit cards snatch away our mental calm by giving us nightmares, sleepless nights, and in severe cases, insomnia. Buying under the influence of social media influencers; bombarding yourself with attractive marketing gimmicks; constant pop-ups of consumer buying behaviour analytics; hypnotizing sales and discounts are the pitfalls of habitual compulsive shopping. These impulsive shopping decisions only let us regret our purchases later. Instead of deriving satisfaction from retail therapy, we end up getting trapped in the guilt of wastefulness and misleading mental stimulation that affects our choices and decisions. Well, don't forget to blame the sudden appearance of the Endorphins and Dopamine spike! Instead, I chose to manage my expenses by doing the "Wants v/s Needs" analysis. This has helped me a lot with those spooky nightmares of running out of money during rainy days. Unsubscribing to unwanted shopping website emails also helped me in this case. You can give it a try!  

3. Toxic Connections - We all are afraid of confronting loneliness. To cover up this fear, we cling to toxic connections by thinking that there is no other choice or a better option than attracting more toxicity in life. These useless connections are responsible for deteriorating our mental health. That means we are concealing loneliness at the cost of our emotional and mental well-being. Instead, I decluttered my life by subsiding on such fake connections. These connections were draining my vital energy and making me feel exhausted mentally. The residual is just the gift of a pure and genuine network that helps me to grow and progress in life without much worrying about bogging down and backstabbing by hypocrites.  

4. Never-ending Guilt - Sometimes our actions lack a valid basis of logical and sensible ways. This becomes a part of our guilt and repentance journey for ages. We feel burdensome due to their psychological impact. Instead, I decided to consider my unfavourable life experiences my best life lessons that aren't usually taught in any renowned institutions, universities, or academies. I am glad and grateful for the mistakes that I made in the past knowingly or unknowingly. Due to my excruciating life experiences, erroneous decisions, flawed choices, and gut-wrenching mistakes, I am who I am. 

5. Social Media - Defining who we are based on followers, likes, red-blue hearts, and emojis that we get on our social media accounts is a ridiculous thing that we all do. We all believe in the so-called perfect lives of people that are falsely projected and flaunted on social media platforms. This results in the "comparison trap" that we all go through. Instead, I limited my social media presence to increase the "quality time" with loved ones. I stopped being concerned about social approval, social validation, and the inflated sense of importance that I used to seek on social media before. 

6. Role Model - The one and only person who stands by your side amid the crisis is the one who is sheltered within you - Your Soul! Setting someone as a role model or being a fan follower is okay to get inspired or stay motivated. But we often overlook a role model or an influencer who has been hidden within us. Instead, I chose to be my role model to stay self-motivated without depending on external sources to feel inspired. This also made me an emotionally independent person. So, when a challenging phase comes, I always count on myself first!  

7. Herd Mentality - It is easy to follow the crowd because you find the comfort zone and the security in predictable scenarios. Not to mention, your brainy brain urges for this. Conventional modes are always easy to opt for because if we follow them then we are not tagged or labelled as "unconventional beings". They require less struggle, fewer explanations, fewer clarifications, and fewer confrontations. Instead, I dared to flow against the tide! This blessed me with the courage and valour to face the struggles to achieve extraordinary results and outcomes in my life. After all, "no risks, no rewards".  

8. Sugar Coating - We all wish to be "sugar-coated candies" just to become a people pleaser all the time. We want to be in everyone's "good book". Even in those people's "good book" who are least concerned about our existence. Fake responses create fewer controversies and we love to play a safer game. Instead, I chose to be straightforward with my words because honeyed words only hamper the other person's capability, or else my principle of being an authentic person.

9. Dishonest Play - Those frequent lies during "self-justification sessions" trap us in the maze of self-loathing beliefs. Dishonesty is the worst policy! Instead, I decided to be honest with my emotions, feelings, and self-talk for being the truest version of myself. Now I need not lie to myself to get caught up in the loop of telling more lies just to conceal the earlier ones. 

10. Media Trends - Copying other person's styles, going after temporary trends in the market, and following seasonal styles have become lifestyle habits these days. We all fall prey to these influences. They eat away our hard-earned bucks, precious energy, and valuable time. Instead, I chose to stick with trends that are elegant, classic, and timeless. They come for once and stay forever!  

11. Lifestyle Makeover - Being a part of fast-paced life is a new cool. People flaunt this new cool with pride at the cost of missing the profoundness of simple things. We are always on the go by attending all the events, luxury retreats, and exotic staycations. We are social butterflies. We are the "party person" in other's dictionaries. Instead, I chose to slow down a bit by cooking a simple meal and reading a coffee-table book by lying comfortably on my couch with a cup of hot chocolate and my snuggly furries around. I learned the art of grounding, earthing, and centring by dimming the chaos of life. By cherishing solitude, and contentment, I enhanced my spiritual growth where life feels halted and frozen a bit to smell the roses! 

12. Settle in Life - Society asks us to settle in life and have particular goals achieved before pre-set timelines. If we cross these timelines, then we become the reason for gossip and pathetic comments. Instead, I chose timelines designed by my destiny. I decided to be an avid learner of life. I chose not to settle but to sip in the aesthetics of my life with all its flaws by going with the flow. 

13. Center of Attraction - This is a new-age disease. Blame it on the virtual world! We want to be in the limelight of society's praise, appreciation, and compliments. Instead, I decided to be a low-key person. I chose my privacy and space over anything else which pushed me to see my life through the window of my soul! 

14. The Myth of Confidence - "The loudest guy in the room is the weakest guy in the room. Confidence is silent!" We all kept believing that confidence lies in pomp and show. Instead, I chose to present myself the way I am than faking my level of confidence and concealing my low self-esteem. We are not here to live a perfect life but to be perfect with imperfections. Mind it!  

15. Busy Folks - "I am busy. I will catch you later!" Almost half of our day is spent conveying and convincing others how "busy dudes" we are. We try to be busy people to keep aside boredom. Instead, I decided to welcome boredom into my life because that helps me to think creatively. Boredom has also helped me to be more productive. Only when you are bored, do you find multiple ways of discovering enthusiasm and creativity. So, when next time you are bored, say "Cheers" to your creativity zone. 

16. Being Judgemental - We judge a book by its cover but sometimes the content of the book passes the test of mesmerizing us with its everlasting trance. We conclude a person without stepping into their shoes. Instead, I chose to be a person who doesn't judge a person by look, education, status, salary, qualification, occupation, money, designation, or family background. Because "All these things never validate a character, ethical and moral values of a person".  

17. Undeserving Requests - How many times have we all requested someone to stay in our lives even when that person is no longer keen to be a part of our life journey? We all agree that at least once we have made these undeserving requests and apologies to someone or over something. Instead, I stopped crying over bonds that won't deserve to be a part of my future. Not every person who crosses a path in our lives affords our worth! Hence, I learned to let go of a few people with forgiveness rather than requesting them to make my life an unresolvable mess. This decision of mine restored clarity and peace in my life. 

18. Key to Happiness - It is found in the things and people in life! - We have been believing this misconception for years. Now it is high time to search for the truth in my "instead" journey. Instead, I decided to search the happiness within. I hoarded a key to happiness with me because the moment I choose to hand over this key to something or someone else, I choose to hand over the key to make me feel unhappy. So, break the myth of finding happiness outside. Many things can be cherished inside but we keep embracing them outside. This is the major reason for the "voidness", "meaninglessness", "hollowness", "emptiness", "shallowness", and "discontentment" in life. Happiness is the inner job. I learned this the hard way!  

Homework for clarity with the help of self-reflection: -

When we get older, sometimes, we have to start from zero to figure out life. We have to revisit our childhood days so that we can rediscover our true selves that got moulded by shattering life experiences, wrong interpretations, and false beliefs. To know who we truly are, we just need to go back in time to unwrap ourselves. This flashback-cum-retrospection helps to undo wrong interpretations; cut deteriorating old beliefs; edit hardwired thinking; delete false perceptions; paste a new perspective towards life; select conscious thoughts that pass through the brain's thoughts filtration process; and add empowering beliefs that help to sail through the bad times. This homework is the time-travel machine where we can meet, greet and rediscover ourselves as a part of the "lost and found" journey of life. 

1. What things that you stopped doing in life?

2. What choices made you a better person?

3. What decisions made you more aware of your life?

4. What impacts did you make on society with your actions?

5. How have your conscious acts helped to improve your emotional and mental well-being?

When your actions, choices, and decisions are backed by convincing clarification, reasoning, and explanation then the chances are high that you will stick to your resolutions of evolving as a better human being till the end. Spare a moment to jot down things that you stopped doing; actions that you choose wisely; decisions that you took consciously; and choices that you made with utmost self-awareness. Introspection and contemplation in every sphere of life always help to unfold several layers of life. This homework will help you to realize how you have evolved as a person with radical life changes. Evolvement and change are nothing but a by-product of adopting the "art of living" with thorough awareness and consciousness. Elevate yourself by assessing the changes that made you a better soul. A better soul can strengthen the collective soul tribe to make the globe a kinder place to live in, and that is the ultimate aim of conscious living. 

I can't close my curation without giving this beautiful quote to ponder. Over to you!  

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi.